The things I do for you people. It’s not always pretty. It’s not always nice. But it has to be done. And I do it because it’s my job. Or it would be if somebody paid me. It’s my calling.

You might remember our friend from A Real Frankenplane from Adamstown, PA in September:

It's alive! A Frankenplane!

It’s alive! A Frankenplane!

Let me introduce you to his low-rent cousin, the Frankenfile:

The $3 Franken-file. $2.98 more than I am willing to pay.

The $3 Franken-file. $2.98 more than I am willing to pay.

Why someone would go and weld (badly) a bent piece of conduit to a file escapes me. And I don’t want to think about it anymore. My head hurts.

And there is something so wrong about the following on so many levels:

What else needs to be said?

What else needs to be said?

If you need either of these two, contact me and I will tell you where to find them. You are a dangerous person and I don’t want to mess with you.